T2 Trainspotting (2017)

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You’re a tourist in your own youth. That’s how I felt too, when I sat down in an empty cinema for this – a far cry from the wild reaction that I expressed and experienced when the Godhead of Nineties movies made its debut. Wow! What a rush that was! Twenty years ago. Which is the real shocker. And age is what this is all about – age and betrayal and memory (or nostalgia) and payback. Renton is back – after making away with all that dosh in London. Sickboy – call him Simon now – ain’t too happy and beats him up. He rescues tragic Spud from certain death. Franco’s just had himself stabbed in prison so he can escape and lure his teenage son away from hotel management and into a life of crime … Revenge? Yes, please. There’s tragedy, fun and kickbacks to spare in this blackly comic outing with portions of Porno mixed up with a narrative carved from the original novel and several flashbacks to the old action and new-old footage of the guys as kids. Edinburgh like the rest of the British Isles is now afloat in Eastern European whores, one of whom has her claws into Simon but whom Renton fancies. Then there’s a scheme to set up Simon’s pub as a rival brothel to a chain of ‘saunas’ which invites interest from the proprietor. And in between bizarre music videos – check out Your Dad’s Best Friend by Rubberbandits! – a hilarious excursion picking pockets at a Loyalist club and digressions on George Best at Hibs, the rhythm section of director Danny Boyle, writer John Hodge and the superb cast (with the obvious exception of Tommy) is reassembled with a sense of style and a closing of the book, as it were. Spud gets a great storyline and there’s a nod to his precursor when Irvine Welsh turns up as chief car booster. Stick to the day job, dude. And there’s a brilliant payoff with a toilet bowl. Whew, it’s okay then. All is right with the world. Choose this.

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Goat (2016)

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Not being a) male or b) someone who feels compelled to join anything, the appeal of fraternities is admittedly beyond my ken. However this account of Brad Land’s initiation to his older brother Brett’s Phi Sigma Mu house at the end of the 1990s is worth a look, if only to illustrate the desperate measures men take to prove themselves. Brad (Ben Schnetzer) is brutally mugged over the summer and is still feeling the after-effects when he goes to Clemson. The hazing he endures during hell week is overseen by Brett (Nick Jonas) who is conflicted about his entry to the group and it includes being ordered to either drink a keg or have sex with a goat. The devastation that occurs following one seemingly innocuous fruit-pelting incident brings matters to a head, as it were. Adapted from Land’s memoir by David Gordon Green with a rewrite by Mike Roberts and director Andrew Neel, this won’t make you feel much different about these nonsensical and violent rituals but Schnetzer and Jonas both give good performances and this is really a story of brothers and what it takes to bring them back together after a mugging drives them apart. There is no real sense of the outside world or sense prevailing, no view of the college at large or other interactions – except partying with some dumb drunk girls. James Franco was instrumental in getting this made and has a supporting role as a big man no longer on campus but keen to get his top off. And just look at those pecs in the titles sequence! Homo sapiens?! (I’m being ironic, obv. Unlike the participants.)

What Women Want (2000)

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This is the kind of film you can’t really unpick:  it’s put together like a watch by writer/director Nancy Meyers who was offered a rewrite on the script but only did it on condition it would be her directing debut. (She didn’t get writing credit.) Her marriage to producing/writing/director partner Charles Shyer over, she was ready to strike out on her own. She completely redid the original premise and boy did she hit a home run. She spent most of the Nineties making movies looking at men in the burbs, married and a little confused in the context of family; now she takes uber-male Gibson, macho advertising dude, and literally gives him insight into how women think. He cross-dresses, puts on makeup and in an accident worthy of magic realism, hears everything women around him are going through. Talk about a makeover! It helps him with his teenaged firebrand daughter Alex (Ashley Johnson) but it also gives him the edge on rival ad woman Darcy Maguire (Helen Hunt) with whom he inconveniently falls into a friendship that threatens to become romantic… There’s laughter, there’s tears, there’s romance,  there’s ads for women’s products. “If you know women, you can rule,” his shrink advises Nick. Nancy Meyers knows what women want. And for that she is one of the half-dozen or so Hollywood filmmakers with final cut. For more on this, I’ve written a book on the woman who celebrates her 67th birthday today. https://www.amazon.com/Pathways-Desire-Emotional-Architecture-Meyers-ebook/dp/B01BYFC4QW/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1481117503&sr=1-1&keywords=elaine+lennon.Pathways of Desire cover Amazon.jpg

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner (1962)

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Alan Sillitoe adapted his short story for this film directed by Tony Richardson. It tells the story of teenage rebel Colin (Tom Courtenay), a boy whose burglarising has brought him to borstal, where he excels at running. The governor sees an opportunity to best the nearby public school in competition and for him running is rehab. Brilliantly organised flashbacks illustrate Colin’s deprived background, his mother’s adultery, his father’s enforced death, a beach outing with his mate and their girlfriends, the stupidity that leads to the theft. We return to the occasion of the race and jump cut back and forth to everything that has passed and Colin just stops. Stops. He stops running. This film is incredible. It never fails to move me. Even as Colin has stopped. A work of genius. You simply have to see it.

McFarland USA (2015)

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Filmmaker Niki Caro has form when it comes to somewhat PC work: Whale Rider, for one. And here the relationship between race (ethnicity) and race (athletics) -no! – is the two-pronged implement on which the story is structured. Luckily for me the fabulous Kevin Costner is the troublemaking high school coach who draws the short straw and is sent with his family to take over at Central Valley  in what is essentially a town full of Mexicans. He’s scared for his family, they all want to leave, he ends up coaching a bunch of lardarses to run really fast cross country.And it’s all true. I forgot what this was about while I was watching it – the last time that happened was Gangster Squad. Costner. Sports movie. WTF happened? Hand me that fork.