Paper Tiger (1975)

 

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There’s always a sense of satisfaction when you finally see a film of which you’ve been somewhat – if tangentially – aware for the longest time. And for reasons I could never have explained I associated this with Candleshoe, the mid-70s Disney film also starring David Niven, and weirdly there’s ample reason for this bizarre linkage here. He plays a Walter Mitty-type who is employed by the Japanese ambassador (Toshiro Mifune) in a fictional Asian country to tutor his young son (Kazuhito Ando, a wonderful kid) prior to their moving to England. He fills up the kid with stories of his WW2 derring-do which are quickly unravelled by sceptical Mifune and German journalist Hardy Kruger. But when he is kidnapped with the kid by political terrorists the kid’s faith in him – and the kid’s own ingenuity – help them make their escape and the ‘Major’ is obliged to step up to save them both from certain murder.  There are plenty of reasons why Jack Davies’ script shouldn’t work but the sheer antic chaos of Asia, Niven’s excited performance versus Mifune’s unwilling stoicism in the face of local political indifference, the welcome appearance of Ronald Fraser and good staging of decidedly un-Disney action sequences (interesting in terms of director Ken Annakin’s associations with the studio) make this a worthwhile trip down false memory lane (mine as well as Niven’s character’s). And there’s a notable easy listening score by the venerable Roy Budd.

The Dark Crystal (1982)

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A long time ago, on a planet far, far away … I had to be persuaded to watch quest narratives after mistakenly wandering into the Ralph Bakshi animation of Lord of the Rings instead of Superman at a very young and impressionable age. No such worries here. It’s a straightforward fantasy in all but one respect – it’s performed by animatronic puppets, and very attractive and convincing they are too, created by Jim Henson at his creature workshop. Jen (Stephen Garlick) is the last surviving Gelfling who has been raised by The Mystics. They need to restore balance to the world by replacing a shard in the eponymous crystal which has long stopped shining, otherwise the evil Skeksis will retain control of the universe. A prophecy foretells their defeat … On his journey he encounters Kira (Lisa Maxwell) and a romance of sorts develops as they tackle various obstacles – particularly the very funny vultures they are trying to vanquish. There is a highly amusing Delphic Oracle, witchlike Aughra, a hilarious pet (Fizzgig), impressive Longstriders, frightening Garthim (crab monsters) and tremendous production design so inventive and multi-faceted you want to dive through the screen. Gorgeous, magical, somewhat sinister and pretty much perfect. And it’s only 94 minutes long! Written by David Odell and directed by Henson with Frank Oz.

Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)

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You would never know that this was an Ealing comedy – it is totally unsentimental. Louis D’Ascoyne Mazzini (Dennis Price) is in prison awaiting his execution when he puts pen to paper and recounts the reason for this turn of events. Born to a beautiful if rash aristocratic mother who ran off with an Italian opera singer, this orphaned young man is now working in a draper’s when his lady love Sibella (Joan Greenwood) marries a love rival. He sets out to dispatch the eight remaining members of the D’Ascoyne line to recuperate the title he feels is rightfully his. All of them – including the venerable Lady Agatha – are played by Alec Guinness. (He also played a ninth!). Louis marries the virtuous wife Edith (Valerie Hobson) of one of them. The range of their respective deaths is stunning. A sublime work of British cinema, adapted from Roy Horniman’s 1907 novel Israel Rank:  The Autobiography of a Criminal by John Dighton and the woefully underrated director Robert Hamer, whose masterpiece this is. Transgressive, ironic and subversive, and the ending is simply genius. Breathtaking black comedy for the ages. Perfection.

The Man Who Haunted Himself (1970)

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Probably Roger Moore’s favourite of his non-Bond outings, this is a fascinating and underrated cult offering from a weird time in cinema. Basil Dearden adapted Anthony Armstrong’s novel The Strange Case of Mr Pelham with Armstrong and Bryan Forbes, who was newly running EMI Films and gave this the greenlight. It was part of a clutch of films starring big names they were planning to shoot on middling budgets – but they didn’t market this correctly and so it got left behind somewhere in cultdom. Moore is a City worker who has a terrible car crash (is it on the Westway?!) in his Rover (whatcha expect?!) and ‘dies’ in hospital where he suddenly has two heartbeats. Resuming his life he appears to be … someone else. He has a doppelganger and this Saintly family man now has a mistress (played by Olga Georges-Picot, to add to the Resnais-ishness of the time scheme) and has agreed to a marine technology deal to which he was previously opposed and he’s being followed by a silver Lamborghini Islero (super wows!). This conservative man suddenly has a more exciting other self … We are in the realm of ego and id, straddling traditional British horror haunting tropes in a very well-tuned drama, and the obliqueness of contemporary London makes it all the more unsettling. The final face-off in his own house where his wife and kids want him gone!! is pretty satisfying, leading to a brilliant car chase, fatal for one of the two Pelhams. Proof, if it were needed, that all film titles beginning The Man Who are pretty darned great actually. In horribly meta fashion and with a great dollop of strange karma, Dearden himself had a terrible car crash in west London a year later (this was his last film…) and died in a hellhole called Hillingdon Hospital where I myself had a very narrow escape but still bare the scars – which bizarrely caused me another injury today before I watched this again. You couldn’t make it up. Chin chin!

The Third Man (1949)

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Western pulp writer Holly Martins (Joseph Cotten) arrives in post-WW2 Vienna at the invitation of old schoolfriend Harry Lime (Orson Welles) only to find that he is just in time for his funeral. British military intelligence in the form of Major Calloway (Trevor Howard) makes his acquaintance while Holly believes there was a third man present at Harry’s mysterious death and he finds himself falling for Harry’s lover Anna (Alida Valli). There are some films whose imagery is practically enamelled in one’s brain and this is one of them, regularly voted the greatest British film ever (despite the crucial involvement of David O. Selznick) with its unforgettable score, the shimmering rain-slicked streets, the chase through the sewers, the treacherous manchild, the funeral, the theatre, the appalling talk at the British Council, the cuckoo clock speech, the Prater … A combination of spy thriller, spiv drama, film noir, character study, western, romance, this was an unusually brilliant collaboration between director Carol Reed and writer Graham Greene, whose friend Kim Philby was a source of much of the story. And this is ultimately a film about stories and storytelling. But nothing can explain this film’s legend – not even Orson Welles’ tall tales – it must be seen to feel that tangible atmosphere, those shadows, the light at the end of the tunnel, those canted angles, that amazing sense of place. My book on its complex origins, production and afterlife in radio and TV is published today on Amazon:  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Trouble-Harry-Third-Man-ebook/dp/B072BTQN48/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1494840986&sr=8-2&keywords=elaine+lennon.

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The Million Pound Note (1954)

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Aka The Man With a Million. Ronald Neame directs this colourful comedy featuring Gregory Peck as a destitute American sailor washed up in Edwardian London who becomes the subject of a bet between a pair of wealthy brothers (Ronald Squire and Wilfrid Hyde-White) as to what might happen him in a month in possession of a loan of a million pound note, with the promise of a job at the end of it.  Whenever tailors, hoteliers, charity fundraisers or investors get a whiff of it they fall at his feet – while he falls in love with Portia (Jane Griffiths) who prefers him poor but doesn’t believe him when he tries to persuade her he really is. A winning adaptation of the Mark Twain story by Jill Craigie (Labour leader Michael Foot’s wife!) and quite delightful entertainment with Peck (never a comedian, by his own admission) amusingly persuasive as the luckiest guy in the world.

Juggernaut (1974)

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In 1972 the QE2 was subjected to a bomb hoax and Royal Marines were deployed to deal with the situation:  this is an adaptation of that incident, with writer/producer Richard Alan Simmons (writing under the nom de plume Richard De Koker) moving events to the North Atlantic and a cruise liner tellingly christened Britannic. An Irish-accented man telephones the owner of the line Ian Holm with the information that seven drums of amatol (an explosive) are rigged in the hold. He wants a half million ransom.The seas are too stormy to save the 1200 passengers and while the police led by Anthony Hopkins (whose wife and son are on board) race against time to track the phonecalls, Navy bomb disposal expert Richard Harris and his team including David Hemmings are winched to the ship to try and defuse everything. This came out at the height of the Arab oil crisis and the IRA’s mainland Britain bombing campaign – and – crucially – the disaster movie genre. Yet it has a rare degree of realism and character definition, probably because after the original directors Bryan Forbes and then Don Medford abandoned ship (!) Richard Lester took over and rewrote it with Alan Plater, demonstrating that he is as adept at action/adventure as slapstick comedy, with regular Roy Kinnear along for the ride, supplying some morbidly funny lines as the entertainer while the clock ticks. While Captain Omar Sharif sweats and looks a little red around the eyes, even with Shirley Knight providing his kicks, Harris smokes his pipe and gets on with the job.  He does some really great character work given that most of his acting takes place in quite literally a tiny frame – head and shoulders. The revelation of the bomber’s identity – he’s not foreign – provides some thought-provoking context. Free of contemporary technology and with some telling lines about refugees, this is an unusually watchable genre exercise, driven by something deeper than just explosions and with a really great ending.

Murder Ahoy! (1964)

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The final of the four Miss Marple film series starring the legendary Margaret Rutherford as a most unlikely Agatha Christie heroine – but who wants anyone else in the role?! This is only vaguely Christie, with a superficial reminder of one plot component in They Do It With Mirrors – a bunch of teenage tearaways supposedly being rehabilitated in an institution but actually being trained in burglary. Here they’re on a former naval ship run by a charitable trust.  When one of her fellow trustees is murdered, Marple infiltrates the boat … and a whole slew of deaths follows! Great fun, with the usual gang – Charles ‘Bud’ Tingwell is back as Chief Inspector Craddock, Stringer Davies (Rutherford’s real life husband) returns as Marple’s fellow sleuth and there’s Lionel Jeffries in a  highly amusing performance as Captain Rhumstone.  Derek Nimmo, Miles Malleson and Nicholas Parsons bring up the considerable rear. Directed by George Pollock from a screenplay by David Pursall and Jack Seddon. Word up for the amazing poster design by Tom Jung and that fabulous jaunty signature tune by Ron Goodwin.

Carrington VC (1954)

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It would be too much to credit Anthony Asquith as an auteur but it must be said he authored so many elegant, witty adaptations of theatrical works exploring the class system that there should be proper recognition of his contribution to British cinema. In this John Hunter adaptation of Dorothy Christie and Campbell Christie’s play, David Niven is the officer who’s had to resort to taking money from mess funds to make up all the back pay he’s owed because his wife is threatening to kill herself over their financial woes. He’s a decorated WW2 hero despised by Col. Henniker (Allan Cuthbertson) a CO who’s got no cred amongst his men because he’s seen no action – so he pretends he didn’t know about the issue and brings Carrington to court martial. Carrington’s friend Captain Alison Graham (Noelle Middleton) stands by him and is secretly in love with him. When Carrington’s suicidal wife Val (Margaret Leighton) finally condescends to attend the trial she shrewishly gives false testimony to avenge her husband’s one night stand with Graham. This sounds like fairly conventional stuff but it’s smart, witty and well played, particularly by Niven whose typical typecasting actually works here – he really is an officer and a gentleman in a bit of a jam who’s terribly loyal even to people screwing him over – including his wife.  Victor Maddern (you’ll remember him from several Carry On roles) is fantastic as Bombardier Owen who has photographic recall of every detail of Carrington’s transactions and it wouldn’t be a Fifties Brit flick without Geoffrey Keen, Laurence Naismith and Maurice Denham whose presence really bolsters a story about the army in peacetime, somewhat at a loss in the post-war world.

Sleeping Car to Trieste (1948)

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A potentially controversial diary is stolen from an embassy in post-WW2 Paris and a train trip across the continent becomes a hotbed of intrigue as everyone on board is concealing some kind of secret … This remake of Rome Express is so confusing I almost forgot the premise as I was watching it but the cast is so absorbing and some of the dialogue so barbed the plot didn’t matter after a while and Benjamin Frankel’s score rocks those tracks. Jean Kent (late, lamented) and Albert Lieven are the thieving espionage agents who make off with the politically incendiary diary and they are double crossed by Alan Wheatley who takes the Orient Express where he is being pursued by a police inspector. There’s a married man having an affair (Derrick de Marney and Rona Anderson);  an irascible writer (Finlay Currie) with his unhappy assistant;  an amorous American soldier (Bonar Colleano); a moronic stockbroker (a very young David Tomlinson);  an irritating birdwatcher; two French girls with a penchant for hats and the New Look; and the train’s chef (Coco Aslan) who’s plagued by an Englishman proud of his hotpot and roly poly recipes (yes, there’s a recipe for train movies too.) It gets a bit violent and there’s a horrible death (remember Shadow of a Doubt? It’s like that.)  Directed by John Paddy Carstairs from a script by Allan McKinnon, adapted from Clifford Grey’s story. PS Never go to Trieste. Worst people I have ever encountered  – no wonder it was the region where Mussolini had his biggest following. Just saying.