The Thomas Crown Affair (1968)

Play something else. Bored Boston millionaire Thomas Crown (Steve McQueen) devises and executes a brilliant scheme to rob a bank on a sunny summer’s afternoon without having to do any of the work himself. He rolls up in his Rolls Royce and collects the takings from a trash can without ever meeting the four men he hired to pull it off. When the police get nowhere fast, American abroad Vicki Anderson (Faye Dunaway), an investigator hired by the bank’s insurance company, takes an interest in Crown and the two begin a complicated cat-and-mouse game with a romantic undertone although Vicki is also assisting police with their enquiries via Detective Eddy Malone (Paul Burke) who stops short of calling her a prostitute due to her exceedingly unorthodox working methods. Suspicious of Anderson’s agenda, Crown devises another robbery like his first, wondering if he can get away with the same crime twice while Vicki is conflicted by her feelings and Tommy considers giving himself up … I’m running a sex orgy for a couple of freaks on Government funds. Dune buggies. Gliders. Polo ponies. Aran sweaters. The sexiest chess game in cinema. Those lips! Those eyes! Those fingers! Has castling ever seemed so raunchy?! Super slick, witty, rather wistful and absurdly beautiful, this classic caper is the epitome of Sixties cool, self-consciously clever, teeming with split-screen imagery, bursting with erotic ideas and boasting a brilliant if enigmatic theme song Windmills of Your Mind composed by Michel Legrand with lyrics by Alan Bergman and Marilyn Bergman. The breeziest, flightiest concoction this side of a recipe for soufflé, it benefits from both protagonists’ identity crisis where everything comes easily to Tommy and life is a game, and yet, and yet … while Vicki is genuinely hurt when Detective Malone hands her a file on Tommy’s nightlife affairs with another woman. Written by Alan Trustman, also responsible for Bullitt. The production is designed by Robert Boyle, shot by Haskell Wexler and directed by Norman Jewison while the editing is led by future director Hal Ashby.  This is deliriously entertaining.  And did Persol shades ever look as amazing? It’s not the money, it’s me and the system

Neptune’s Daughter (1948)

Can’t you get in enough trouble here without going below the border? Aquatic dancer Eve Barrett (Esther Williams), now partnered with Joe Backett (Keenan Wynn) in a swimsuit design company, tries to stop her scatterbrained sister Betty (Betty Garrett), from falling in love with Jose O’Rourke (Ricardo Montalban), a suave South American polo player. Unbeknownst to Eve, Betty has actually fallen for Jack Spratt (Red Skelton), a masseur who is posing as Jose. To protect her sister, Eve finds the real Jose, agrees to a date and also falls in love… If you keep throwing yourself at men you are only going to get hurt!/Not if my aim is good! A fun, frolicsome Forties MGM musical of mistaken identity that teams swimming queen Williams with Latin Lothario Montalban for their third hit movie.  Garrett and Skelton are marvellous in the supporting roles. A Technicolor delight. Written by Dorothy Kingsley (a woman! Heaven forfend!), this clip of the great Frank Loesser’s satirical song is up especially for the censorious killjoys who should spend their time listening to rap music – get back to the land of normal sane people then, please. Preferably not! Merry Christmas – but you’ve probably cancelled that for religious/sexist reasons too. Bah, humbug to all the snowflakes!