His hands are sweaty and we haven’t even started yet. 1870. A hurricane hits the island of Jamaica. The Thorntons (Nigel Davenport and Isabel Dean) parents of five children, feel it is time to send them home to England for a more civilised upbringing and education. During the voyage, pirates board the ship and the children end up accidentally leaving on the pirate ship. The pirate captain, Chavez (Anthony Quinn) and first mate Zac (James Coburn) do not wish to risk a kidnapping charge and decide to sail to Tampico and leave the children in the safe keeping of Rosa (Lila Kedrova) a brothel madam with a good heart. Rosa warns the pirates that the law is after them. Since they are innocent of the crimes attributed to them by the authorities — namely, the murder of the children — Chavez and Zac are unconcerned. But then one of the children, John (Martin Amis) slips from a window of the brothel and falls to his death. Rosa does not want any involvement in a potential murder case and tells Chavez to take the remaining children away. The crew feel that the children are unlucky and demand that they be abandoned on the next island. When Emily (Deborah Baxter) falls ill, Chavez refuses to attack a passing Dutch vessel to ensure it remains undamaged and fully crewed in order to take Emily to be treated and the children to safety. His men mutiny, lock up Chavez, seize the Dutch boat, and capture its captain (Gert Frobe) … What kind of man are you? You are a butcher! Why don’t you tell us where the money is? This adaptation of Richard Hughes’ classic 1929 novel arrives somewhat declawed (after some protracted attempts to film it including one by James Mason) but is still pretty tough stuff. You must be guilty of something. The opening sets the tone of culture clash when the children witness the natives practise their brand of voodoo and are clearly at home with it, to their mother’s horror. When a monkey dies after another 15 minutes you know you’re not in Oz. The story is essentially about Emily’s relationship with Chavez and what a performance from little Baxter opposite that charisma machine Quinn. It may not have turned out the way everyone wanted but there are good setpieces, great support particularly from Coburn and a really sinister ending. Future enfant terrible novelist Amis is instantly recognisable as young John, with his blond hair, jutting jaw and heavy brow. Written by Stanley Mann & Ronald Harwood & Dennis Cannan and directed by Alexander Mackendrick, who regretted making it when the edit substantially shortened the running time and story of this pirates movie with a difference. Nonetheless, it leaves the audience with a distinct feeling of seasickness. Grownups never tell you anything – you have to guess
mondomovies 